Day 44: Rain and sanatoriums
Everyone needs a dad joke
The rain is still falling, which must only be a sign that the lockdown measures will be lifted soon. No great dramatic scene ever occurred without the presence of rain or water. Neo fighting against Agent Smith in The Matrix. The great Battle of the Hornburg in Lord of the Rings. All of Blade Runner. Gwyneth Paltrow’s tears at the Oscars. And so, I am ready for my Shawshank Redemption moment. If only someone could give me Morgan Freeman’s number to get him to narrate the whole thing.
Although Reddit (of course) has a differing opinion on his character, Red:
At least, instead of 500 yards of shit, I will have crawled through 500 litres of wine. Everyone has to follow their own journey.
Speaking of journeys, the mayor of Milan announced that they are launching an ambitious scheme to build wider pavements and longer cycling routes throughout the city after the lockdown, in an attempt to reduce public transport and car use and, subsequently, pollution. Maybe it’s just a brilliant distraction trick. But, for anyone who has ever tried to park in Milan, it’s definitely really good news. A great life hack tip for Milan is to always aim to be somewhere at least thirty minutes early if you are driving there, because that’s how long it will take you to find parking, and in the best of cases, it’s going to be in a residents’ zone, specifically in a zone you definitely don’t live in.
In the US, things are starting to appear slightly less accessible. Trump wants to shut off the borders to prevent immigrants from stealing people’s jobs, which is a highly intelligent concept that resembles the time when Cuba created self-sufficient HIV sanatoriums in the 80s and 90s that included food, jobs and a great sense of community. Only HIV positive people were allowed in, and once in there was no way out. I know what you are thinking, but even though it sounds uncannily similar to prison, we must remember that branding is everything. In fact, many healthy young people infected themselves with HIV so that they would be able to join the camps. The only challenge was that Cuba built the sanatoriums years before any drugs were released.
Something tells me the US won’t be clean once it comes out on the other end either, and if Red was mentally handicapped, then Trump will need a new definition.
Continuing with the theme of great world leaders, the rumours of Kim Jong Un’s health deterioration is the kind of event that the universe creates to remind you it still has an amazing sense of humour. At first, I thought he was just the first confirmed case of Covid-19 in North Korea, because he had every other patient shot, but no, he just happened to have a surgery go wrong. Does this mean we should get ready for Kim Jong Dos? (sorry but not sorry, if there was ever a good time for dad jokes, this is it)
Lunch: Green beans with potatoes and tomato sauce, and rosemary lamb chops (we have now officially finished the lamb)
Song of the day: EMF - Unbelievable